In a much different way from last semester, this semester is rough. I don’t know if it’s just one specific class that has me bogged down with just an insane amount of constant work, or if it’s the combination of these four classes that make me wish there was either more time in the day, or more days in the week. Whatever it is, it has me questioning how the heck it’s almost March, and I still feel like I have no clue how to manage my time this semester.
I’ve had NO outside life this semester. You can ask my husband what we’ve done
almost every weekend since school started. I’ve worked Friday-Sunday on school stuff, almost non-stop. Even the weekend my SIL and BIL were in town for M’s birthday…I worked pretty much non-stop. And it’s not like I procrastinate and put stuff off until the weekend; it’s just that I can’t stay on top of things. There’s too much to do.
I don’t know how to balance it all yet. It’s nearly midterms. Never have I felt this way this late into the semester. I wish I would have had the foresight to say that I was only going to take 3 classes. Due to circumstances for next school year, I’m going to be pushed back a little anyway. Too bad it’s too late in the semester to drop a class. Even if I did have the option, I don’t know which one I’d drop.
I’m starting to feel really guilty; like I’m neglecting my personal life. I’m so lucky that I have a husband that picks up the slack around the house. Otherwise, we’d have dishes piled through the roof, or we’d be eating cereal every night (well, I would be eating cereal every night…I don’t know what he would eat). When I come home, I’m just too tired/spent to do it or care about it. He doesn’t complain about it, but I still feel like I haven’t been a supportive enough spouse. Although I know that he’s not as “busy” as I am, there are so many times that I’m so focused on all of my school work that I fail to ask him how things are going in his life.
I just don’t feel like I have any outside life this semester. I feel like I’m just a lousy little graduate student; nothing more. My soul misses reading, and writing, and cooking…and even occasionally, the cleaning. I miss LIVING. There are so many good things going on in my life, and I’m just not excited about any of them. Instead, I’m worried about how it will cut into the precious little free time I have to get all of my work done. And that too makes me feel guilty. I should be excited. I should be happy. Instead, I’m counting down the days until the semester is over, and maybe then I can breathe a sigh of relief.