Growing up in a doubly-divorced household, you get plenty of opportunities to view what to do right (and wrong) in a relationship. I think one of the best pearls of wisdom I acquired was that in a relationship, it’s not always 50/50.
While you don’t always want a gross imbalance (as this tends to lead to one–or more–divorce(s)), it is unrealistic to expect that each person will always pull their equal share. Someone will have extra projects to work on, or someone may get sick. Or in our current case, one person may have two Ph.D. classes, and the other person may have four. It just wouldn’t be good to expect the person with the heavier load to have to do all that they normally do at home.
Thank God I married someone who realizes that.
Now, we do our share of bickering over who is going to do the dishes…for possibly the third day in a row…or about who is leaving more clutter around the house (usually me). But, when push comes to shove, it’s nice to know that the other person has your back. Not to mention, it’s nice to know that we will eventually be raising children in a household where it’s clear that there are no gender-defined roles. Men can make dinner, do the dishes, or vacuum the house, just as much as women. And women can take out the garbage, fix something that’s broken, or nail things into a wall, just as much as men.
I just wish I could get a picture of my husband in my apron. That will be a great day. 😀