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Old Baggage

Posted by on February 5, 2011

I find it amusing how the little things in life can alter how you feel about something.

My husband and I were on the way to the bank yesterday when we got to chatting about my student loan debt.  We have a couple of options regarding how to pay it off, but most of it boils down to him wanting to pay down the interest (because let’s face it: it’s the interest that really sucks).

Now, financially we roll with a yours, mine, and ours pot.  (Actually, I think it’s just a mine and an ours pot).  My loans come out of the “my” pile, while joint bills come out of the “our” pot.  I’ve never wanted to be a financial burden on my husband, so I always said that I wanted my own account to pay my own expenditures.  Needless to say, the “my” money disappeared pretty quickly once I went back to school, as I’ve been putting whatever money I’ve been making babysitting and subbing into the “our” account, and then transferring money when necessary.

But I digress.

Talking about my debt roused some unknown bitterness within me.  I know that I’m with the majority of Americans in regards to my school debt.  But somehow, I still feel cheated because I was not helped AT ALL by my parents to pay for school.  I mean, I KNOW my mom did all she could by co-signing loans, and I know that being a single mom for a while, she was not able to save for our college.  Even when she and my dad were married, finances were tight.  But still, I found myself a little bitter; I wish someone (parents, grandparents) had planned ahead for me, like my husband’s family did.  What smart thinkers they are.  (Don’t tell them, but I think we try to follow their example in many regards.  😛 )

Even though DH and I are probably years away from having children, I’m already thinking about how we’re going to help fund their education.  Shoot, by the time our kids hit college, it will probably be $50,000+ a year, or some ridiculous amount.  After we’re done saving for Italy, I think it will be time to open a baby account.

I just find it strange how one small conversation could unlock a hidden time-bomb of sentiment, and ruminations for the future.

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