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Mixed Emotions

Posted by on November 4, 2010

Tomorrow is my last day of student teaching.  I cannot begin to describe the plethora of emotions that I’ve gone through this week.  Over the summer I envisioned the end of student teaching as light at the end of a very long tunnel.  Instead, I feel like perhaps my eyes have adjusted to the darkness, and the light is a little too bright.  I’m shunning it, instead of rejoicing in it.  Although I have plenty of work to keep me busy during the week (too much school work, really), I already miss my kids.  I have totally, and completely, fallen in love with my class.

When I observed, or when I was doing my practicum, I think I purposely kept my distance emotionally.  But once I began in my classroom, the way I did things, and how I acted towards these students would actually matter.  I invested in them emotionally.  And in the classroom, I feel like it totally paid off.  I gave them 100%, and in return, they never disappointed me.

But, I know they’re not my kids.  Handing them back to Jan and Jered this week was hard.  Leaving them for good is going to be even harder.  Although I will still be around as an Extended Day and Substitute Teacher, it isn’t the same as being with those kids in their classroom.  To make things more difficult, I have a couple asking me to stay.  I have one threatening to take me hostage (what’s funny is I think she believes she could actually do it).  I’m grateful that they make me feel so loved.  I just hope they realize how loved they are, too.

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