It’s going to be one of those complain-y blogs, so if you don’t want to hear me whine, turn away now. 😛
As you may know, Bally’s is closed. Bally’s has been closed for over 2 months now, and I’m starting to go insane.
There are so many days when I wake up and fall asleep hating my body. I hate the tummy pudge, I hate how chunky my arms look, and I hate the cellulite on my thighs. I’ve probably hated my body since I was 12.
In middle school, I went through a really unhealthy period. I stopped eating because I hated the way I looked. And when I did eat, I threw it up because I was so upset that I caved and ate something. Luckily, my mom caught this pretty early on (within a few months), so she forced me into a better eating situation.
Now, I love food. I’ve always loved carb-y things like pasta, pizza, and ice cream. As an adult, I have a hard time controlling myself around food. Things like chips, and other junky snacks aren’t allowed in the house, because I eat them–in one sitting.
I work out to combat my food intake. (I snack all day long…nuts, fruits, yogurt, cookies that I’ve baked…). With my gym being closed, and it being 100 and humid every day, I haven’t worked out nearly enough this summer and feel like a complete fat blob. I’m getting to the point that I just don’t know what to do any more.
Do I diet? Do I suck it up until they FINALLY reopen my gym? Do I starve my husband in my attempt to not eat anything? Yeah, this last option is a bad one.
I’m just so frustrated with this entire situation, I could kick something. Like the Bally’s manager. In the shin. That would be good.
This summer was supposed to offer me a good time to get in really good shape. Now, all I’ve done is lose the muscle tone that I had gained this spring. Grrr.