An Open Letter to my Daughter

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Una giovane signora

Dearest Daughter,

It’s been a little over 5 months since you’ve been here.  Maybe it’s just because it’s Valentine’s Day, so I’m feeling sentimental, but today I’m really glad I’m your Momma.

I was rocking you to sleep for your morning nap, watching your eyes flutter open and closed as your little hand stroked my hair, as it often does when you’re beginning to drift off.  I felt you snuggle in closer and realized that your feet now practically hang off the side of the glider as your head practically falls off my arm.  You’re still so small, but when did you get so big?  How is it I see you every day, yet I am still in awe of the tiny changes you go through?

Your bottom teeth popped through this week.  Again, I thought, since when have you gotten so big?  Where does time go?  I know I’m going to think this so many times throughout your life.

It’s funny that you never really realize the way in which your own parents love you, until you have a child.  All of a sudden, all of the things they claimed during an argument during your teenage years that they “sacrificed” or “did” for you start to make sense.  I understand why my parents acted the way they did.  You will be the biggest investment of my life.  (Your daddy is a close second.)  Parents make the investment willingly.  It doesn’t take long for your value to increase exponentially.  We have so much fun with you on a daily basis.  Your smile melts my heart, and your tears break it.

I know you won’t always be easy.  We had some rough weeks in the beginning.  There were lots of times where I really wondered what in the world I had gotten myself into by becoming a parent.  And I’m sure when you’re the toddler in the store who’s throwing an epic tantrum, I’m again going to wonder why I wanted kids as I haul you out to the car.  But for now I’m going to enjoy these little moments of peace…the snuggles I get when you’re falling asleep; the smile I get when you wake back up and you see I’m coming to pick you up; the giggles you give Daddy when he tickles you in just the right spot.

This what I promise to you today: I will take joy in the many small moments of being your mom.

I know there are so many struggles ahead of us.  But know that no matter what, I have loved being your mom.

Love,

Momma
(aka, the food lady)

Categories: Children, Daily Life, Family, Parenting | Leave a comment

Natural Family Planning (NFP)

Posted on July 29, 2012 by Una giovane signora

A blog of this sort would typically belong on my other site, but since I feel like most people are aware of NFP, it’s a public enough topic to be discussed here.

NFP typically is synonymous with “surprise” babies.  Not shockingly, NFP gets a bad rep among most.  Yet, if you’re married in the Catholic church, it is the form of birth control that the church preaches.  While DH and I were going through pre-cana (the required pre-marriage classes the church requires you to take), NFP was drilled as the way to go.  But then they had the “endorsers” speak.  By this own married couple’s admission, they had two–TWO unplanned children by NFP.  Yes, in retrospect, they were blessings and part of God’s plan, yada, yada, yada.  But M and I did not leave that talk reassured that NFP could work. 

SPOILER ALERT:  we were wrong!

Fast forward a couple of years, and a missing gallbladder later.  I had been on and off of BC pills since the age of 14 due to hormonal imbalances that lead to ovarian cysts.  But once I found out that the pill might have been responsible for my gallbladder self-destructing by the time I was 24, mixed with the expense of the pill (since my prescription insurance sucked) and random disliked side-effects, I had a nice sit-down talk with DH about NFP.

There are various forms of NFP that combine well with Fertility Awareness Methods (FAM).  The Marquette Method is one of them.  After a lot of discussion (as we wanted the best odds of protection possible) we settled on a combination of the Marquette Method with the Symptothermal Method.  Although it required some work on my part (more so than remembering to take a pill at the same time every day), I actually enjoyed NFP a lot more than I anticipated.  For starters, I learned a TON about my body.  Despite having hormonal abnormalities, I learned that my body was still working the way it should…just on a random schedule.  Additionally, when both parties are committed to NOT having a baby at that point in time, it becomes a lot easier to resist one another.

But the main reason I’ve become an advocate for NFP is 33.5 weeks old.  Had it not been for NFP and the knowledge I gained from it, I don’t think we would have gotten pregnant as quickly as we did.  After 1.5 years of successfully preventing, we were ready to start a family.  Despite being told that if we wanted to try naturally that we’d essentially be playing “roulette,” we got pregnant the first month.  I cannot tell you how many times DH and I have looked at one another in disbelief at our incredible luck (even still!!).  As our due date approaches, I cannot help being thankful for the path we took.

So, when we say that we were “surprised” we got pregnant when we did, we’re always referring to the ease with which it happened…NOT that we’re surprised that it did happen.  I mean, we were there.  ;D  We knew what we were getting into.  We just didn’t realize it would happen so fast, especially after years of hearing we’d need fertility treatment.

As we learned in December, life can surprise you in positive ways.

Categories: Body Issues, Children, Daily Life, Faith, Family, Married Life, Pregnancy | Leave a comment

Cloth Diapering

Posted on June 17, 2012 by Una giovane signora

This is one of those weird topics that M and I had agreed upon long before we even got pregnant.  I had casually mentioned one day that people still cloth diapered their kids, and I kind of thought it was a cool idea.  (Yes, I really am a hippy tree-hugger at heart, and always have been; go ahead and judge me.)  M and I both agreed that it seems to be better for the environment, better for your child’s skin, and economically more beneficial in the end.  Additionally, we were both cloth diapered (CD) as kids, and were were comfortable with the idea for our own children.  In the end, we knew that we’d probably end up CDing.

Now that we actually are pregnant, I’ve come to realize how big the CDing world really is.  There are SO MANY options out there, and so many items you need–diapers, wet bags, sprayers, etc.  Then as far as diapers go, there are prefolds, one-size, pocket, all-in-one, and the list just goes on.  In an attempt to figure out what will work best for us, I’ve ordered a couple of different kinds to try out once the baby is here.

Prefolds:

Cute owl cover

I bought this adorable Thirsties Duo Wrap before I had any clue what I was doing.  I wasn’t sure what exactly I was ordering, so I got the wrap, and ordered some inserts.  When I got it, and saw that it was just a shell, I was really confused.  There were no pockets!  Where did the inserts go?  This is why reading is your friend.  The description on Amazon does state that they are ideally paired with trifolded prefolds.

Trifolded prefold with Snappi

What the heck are those? I thought to myself.  I just assumed that’s what inserts were.

No, no. This—>

is what a prefold is.  Also known as the “old fashioned” method of CDing, you have to place the prefold around your baby, and then the cover and inserts over that.  Try doing that with a screaming child.  In the middle of the night.  Yikes.

Cover, prefold, Snappi, and inserts.

 

Pros: Cheapest option, cute covers, easy to wipe cover, easy to dry inserts and prefolds

Cons: Pain to do, lots of parts to buy, takes forever to do, have to buy multiple sizes

 

Although this is the cheapest method of CDing your kid, and your cover options are super cute, these suckers are a lot of work.  I could forsee this being a nightmare to do in the middle of the night, or to make a babysitter try to do.  While we have the one that we’ll try out, I’m willing to bet this is NOT the option we end up going with.

 

 

Pocket:

Anytime I imagined CDing, I always imagined the pocket diaper (perhaps that’s because it’s the most common CD currently used).  Just like it’s name, it has a pocket inside that you place the inserts in.  Within this general category, there are several sub-categories of diaper types.  The main ones that come to mind are “perfect size” and “one-size.”

 

Perfect Size

Small “perfect fit”

 

I ordered this FuzziBunz Perfect Size diaper just to check it out.

Inserts get shoved into back “pocket”

I figured our little peanut would be small enough that we should get about 6 months of use out of it.  Also, a lot of people claim these fit their kids way better than one-size (OS) diapers do.

 

 

Pros: Slim design, easy to dry inserts, nice fleece inside, “best” fit

Cons: Have to stuff them, need to take out wet/gross insert, have to buy multiple sizes (7-18lbs, 15-30lbs, etc.), moderately expensive

 

One-Size (OS)

Snaps for multiple sizes

 

After purchasing the FuzziBunz, I decided to look into some OS diapers as well.  I like the idea that we can purchase one diaper to take us from a 7 pound baby up until the time we potty train him/her.  We’d have to purchase less diapers, but we might have to deal with diapers that don’t fit as well.

For these, I decided to try a BumGenius diaper, since they were rated the highest on multiple sites.  I got two of them.  They are very similar to the FuzziBunz, except they go up to 35 pounds instead of 18.

Inserts go in back pocket with flap that closes

 

Pros: Easy to dry inserts, diapers come with multiple inserts, nice fleece inside, won’t have to buy multiple sizes

Cons: Have to stuff them, need to take out wet/gross insert, moderately expensive, might have issues with fit

 

 

 

All-In-One (AIO):

“Albert” Freetime. SO CUTE!

One of my friends in my online Mommy group brought the BumGenius Freetime diaper to my attention a couple of weeks ago.  These diapers are just one of many kinds of AIO diaper.  As an AIO diaper there are no inserts to stuff.  Instead, the “inserts” are flaps already within the diaper.

Flaps fold on top of one another

Additionally, these particular diapers are OS, so in theory we won’t need to buy any other sizes.  When I found out about these, I had my husband drive us out to Cotton Babies in Town and Country so I could check them out myself.  I didn’t quite understand the concept of AIO.  However, after looking at them, we ended up coming home with two of them.  I could have bought more, but then M would have glared at me…

Pros: No inserts to deal with/pay extra for, no stuffing, won’t have to buy multiple sizes

Cons: They are line-dry only, most expensive diaper, might have issues with fit, could be bulky

 

 

Obviously, there’s no “perfect” option out there.  In the end, we registered for the Freetimes on our Amazon registry, as these seem to be the easiest/least time-consuming diaper to use.  Only time will tell which one of these options will work best on the baby.  Right now I only have 6 cloth diapers (the one Duo Wrap, the one Fuzzibunz, the two OS BumGenius, and the two Freetimes).  We will need at least 24 in order to get us to doing laundry only every other day(ish).  Although it’s going to be a big up-front investment (several hundred dollars), I know people easily spend that on diapers for one child alone.  The beauty of these is that we should be able to use them for a second child, whenever that time comes.

Overall, one of the things I’ve realized about parenting (so far) is that you do what you think is going to work best for you and your family.  It may seem crazy, and it may not work at all, but you make an honest effort to do the right thing.

 

Categories: Children, Daily Life, Family, Parenting, Pregnancy | 2 Comments

Ah, Roma!

Posted on May 31, 2012 by Una giovane signora

After many years of dreaming, I finally got to book my ultimate trip: a week to Rome.  Since high school, the idea of going to Rome has always called to me.  I loved the idea of tiny streets, sidewalk cafés, and thousands of years of history.  Last October, we finally booked my dream trip–great hotel, sight-seeing in the Vatican, the Colosseum, the Pantheon, Pompeii…I dreamt of great food, cappuccinos, wine, and gelato.

Almost as soon as I realized we were pregnant, I also became aware of the fact that I would be missing out on some of the fun things I was looking forward to–mostly the wine and cappuccinos.  But I didn’t really think about it past that, for which I am grateful.  About two weeks before we left, I started to get really nervous about the trip.  Although the pregnancy has been relatively smooth, I was slightly concerned to be going so far.  While I’ve maintained exercising through yoga and shortish (2-3 mile) walks, I knew that a lot of walking would be required in Rome and the various tours.  I was starting to think that perhaps going to Rome while pregnant was not going to be the best idea.

While I’m very glad that we went, our trip was not exactly the rosy picture that our Facebook photos portray.  I figured I’d synthesize our trip through photos while I still remember some of the details.

Wednesday/Thursday:

This photo was not included on Facebook for obvious reasons; I look horrible.  We left St. Louis on Wednesday morning.  The flight into Newark was pretty bumpy towards the end.  I think the combo of the very bumpy descent, plus the stress of traveling while pregnant got the best of me.  I spent most of our 4 hour layover and 9.5 hour overnight flight in the bathroom feeling miserable.  During our layover in Newark we both really started debating if traveling all the way to Rome was a good idea for both me and the baby.  In the end, I knew I would kick myself if we postponed the trip (not only would we lose some of the money, but I didn’t want to be a pansy about traveling).  By the time we actually got to Rome, I was starting to feel better, but I was absolutely exhausted.  Since we arrived to the hotel around 10 a.m. Thursday, our room was not ready yet.  Although most tourists drop their bags and go out exploring, I fell asleep on a couch in the lobby.  Luckily, whoever was in our room before us checked out early that morning, and they were able to ready our room within 45 minutes.  We spent the rest of the day Thursday napping and watching CNN.  This picture was taken after I woke up from one of my naps.  That night we went out for pizza at a local restaurant that was recommended by hotel staff.  It was quite yummy, although my tummy was still barely handling food.

 

Friday:

Trevi Fountain

Otherwise known as crazy tour day.  We had a busy, busy day.  We saw the Trevi Fountain, Piazza Colonna, the Pantheon, Piazza Navona, and the Vatican in the morning.  While walking between the Pantheon and Piazza Navona, I began overheating and had to sit for about 5 minutes.  Once I had some water and took a break, I began to feel better.  I felt great by the time we got onto the bus and headed towards the Vatican.  Seeing St. Peter’s Basilica was amazing.  I told M that it was almost akin to a pilgrimage to Mecca.  It was fantastic to be able to be in the religious epicenter for the Catholic Church.  I got chills just being there.  In addition to the history and the art within the Basilica, it was just absolutely gorgeous.  I really enjoyed it.

We then headed off to lunch with two other American couples.  It was there that I learned a typical meal in Rome consisted of bread, a first course of pasta (which I devoured), and a surprise second course of meat, and dessert.  Since I had eaten all of my pasta, I had no room for the second course.  Ah well, lesson learned.  :)

Roman Forum with Colosseum in background on the left

In the afternoon was our tour of the Roman Forum, St. Peter in Chains church, and the Colosseum.  Although we didn’t get to walk through the Forum like I was hoping, it was still really cool to see the ruins.  We then spent a good hour or so within the Colosseum.  Our tour guide gave us WAY too much history, and M and I decided to break off the tour a little bit to do our own picture taking, and to let me sit.

By the time our tours were over, we were both tired.  We decided to do dinner “early” (7:15 p.m.).  We, and another group of tourists were the first ones in the restaurant.  For dinner we went to the restaurant on the street behind us.  I ordered some gnocchi that were the best I have ever eaten in my life.  We then tried out the gelato place that was around the corner.  I knew within my first lick that we would be going back…oh so yummy!

 

Saturday:

Looking down from atop the Steps on an empty day.

After all of the touring on Friday, we decided to have a lazy Saturday that consisted of a late breakfast (9:30 a.m.) and slowly getting ready to go out.  We meandered to the Spanish Steps, which was about a mile away.  We at lunch at the famed Babbington’s Tea Rooms, walked back to the hotel, and napped for a bit.  We then had dinner (pizza) across the street from our Hotel at a restaurant named Henry Cow.

 

 

Sunday:

Naples on a dreary day

We spent most of Sunday traveling to, and touring Naples and Pompeii.  This perhaps was the one tour that I was looking forward to the most.  I was SUPER excited to get to visit Pompeii.  Although the weather was kind of dreary (cloudy, misty rain), I really enjoyed getting to see the countryside.  Naples was not all that exciting.  Although I’m sure it’s pretty on a sunny day, it really didn’t do much for M or I while we were there.  However, the weather did not dampen my enthusiasm for Pompeii. Although our tour guide was kind of

Looking down the street towards Vesuvius

annoying (he had some weird noise he would make at the end of each sentence), M and I stayed behind most of our tour group to take our own pictures and do some of our own exploring.

M got some great shots!  Overall, Pompeii was definitely one of the highlights of our trip!

Since we got back so late, we had dinner at the hotel restaurant, which was on the roof, overlooking the city.

 

Monday:

We had a very nice, relaxing Monday after having to get up at 5:45 a.m. the previous day.  So, we slept in, had a later breakfast, and waited for the rain to clear.  We spent the day milling about, and explored Termini Station and the Spanish Steps for some souvenirs.  We quickly came to the conclusion that everything was either ridiculously chintzy, or something along the lines of Prada or Dolce and Gabbana (which we can’t afford).  Slightly saddened, we headed back towards the hotel to grab a quick pizza dinner at a hole-in-the-wall pizza place across the street from us.  We got a lot of ridiculously good pizza for less than 5 Euro!  Monday evening was rounded out by a Nighttime Tour of Rome.  Of course, that’s when it decided to rain again.  But not only did it rain, we had a nice, gentle Italian thunderstorm.

Lightning lit up the Roman sky

M got this great shot as we were on top of a hill in Trastevere, overlooking the city.  To the left is the dome of St. Peter’s Basilica.  I love how the lightning just lit up the sky.  Although the night was rainy and thunderstormy, Rome at night was still gorgeous.

 

Tuesday:

A majority of our last day in Rome was sadly spent inside of our hotel.  The rain from the evening before continued as a downpour for most of Tuesday.  We ventured out midday for lunch at Trimani, a local winebar.  Afterward, we looked for a couple of bottles of wine in their shop to bring back.  We trudged back to the hotel in the deluge to dry off and change clothes.  Several hours later, we decided that the rain just wasn’t going to lighten up, and I really wanted to throw coins into the Trevi Fountain (which legend has it will ensure a return trip to Rome).  So, we put on our semi-dry clothes and trekked to the Fountain.  Luckily, the rain slowed to a trickle while we were there, and we got to fight the other tourists for a spot at the Fountain.  Our return trip ensured, we went back to the hotel to get ready for our last dinner in Rome.  We asked where a great place to go was, and we ended up at Hostaria di Vincenzo, a local place made popular by its seafood, of all things.  Both M and I avoided the seafood, but had some fantastic pastas.  We also headed back one last time to our favorite gelato place around the corner from our hotel.

 

Overall, I’m really glad we went.  But to be honest, by Tuesday we were both looking forward to going back home.  Although I definitely suggest a trip to Rome, a week dedicated just to Rome may be too much.  I would definitely like to go back and see more of the country.  And I definitely want to go back and eat more of the food!!

 

 

Categories: Daily Life, Married Life, Pregnancy, Travel | Leave a comment

Enchalupés

Posted on May 2, 2012 by Una giovane signora

One, I’m not sure if enchalupé is a word.  Two, I just figured out how to put the accent above the e, which makes me kind of excited.  Regardless, I’m excited about this recipe.

I received this recipe from the mom from my roommate Steph in college.  I spent a couple of weeks staying with her family, and her mom made this one night.  Me, being a Mexican food fan, fell in love with this recipe.  It takes about an hour (start to finish), but it’s delicious and totally worth it.  I’ve tweaked it a bit to fit my husband’s and my tastes, but the bulk of it remains the same.

 

Enchalupés

1 pound ground chicken/turkey/beef

1 onion, chopped

1 can diced tomatoes

1 can refried beans

1 package taco seasoning

1 package large flour tortillas

1 package (3 cups) shredded Colby Jack cheese

 

Brown meat with onions, and drain fat.  Add the diced tomatoes, refried beans, and taco seasoning.  Heat until warm.

 

Meanwhile, preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Layer the bottom of a 13×9 pan with tortillas.  Once meat mixture is warm, layer half on top of the tortillas.  Layer half of the cheese on top of the meat mixture.  Repeat with tortillas, remaining meat, and remaining cheese.
Bake for 35-45 minutes, or until top is beginning to brown.  Cool five minutes before cutting.

 

Top with favorites like sour cream, lettuce, tomato, salsa, guacamole, etc.  Enjoy!

Categories: Foodstuff, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Ooooh, I’ve been bad…

Posted on April 29, 2012 by Una giovane signora

It’s been a REALLY long time since I’ve updated this.  Bad blogger!  Well, in all fairness, I’ve been blogging…just not here.  I’ve been updating the baby blog and a class blog, so this one has just fallen by the wayside.  My apologies!

So, what’s been going on the past six weeks or so?  A lot actually!  I guess I’ll just try to synthesize, because otherwise, this post will be ridiculously long.

*I will officially be taking next semester off to stay home with the baby.  After much thought and debate, my advisor and I decided that this would be the best course of action emotionally, mentally, and academically.  I’ll get about 4 months at home with the little one, and if we’re lucky, he/she will be very close to sleeping through the night by the time I go back to class.  In the meantime, I will occupy myself with a lot of (scholarly) reading, trying to narrow my interests, and frame myself within the research.  If I get the chance to be really productive, I’ll hopefully find a way to churn out a publication.

*I went to Vancouver for the American Education Research Association (AERA) conference.  I fell in love!  Not only was Vancouver itself an amazing, beautiful, friendly city, but the fact that I was there to learn was just so much fun.  I saw a lot of great researchers, had my thinking pushed a little, and got to meet some of the prominent people I read.  Anyone heard of Gloria Ladson-Billings?  (Probably not, unless you’re an education nerd like me).  Yeah, got to meet her and we talked about Wisconsin politics for a good 15 minutes or so.  Additionally, four girls, two beds, one hotel room, and nobody killed or wanted to kill each other.  It was like a long sleepover!  So much fun!

Baby's face is on the right

*M and I can officially feel Stormageddon move.  He/She is a busy bee in there!  There are very specific times where he/she is really active…particularly during my stats class and again later at night.  Perhaps we have a statistician on our hands??  Also, we’re officially half way through the pregnancy.  We had our 20 week appointment and ultrasound this week.  While the ultrasound was so much fun, the face shots are a little creepy.  He/She looks a little like a cyborg in this shot.  Look at that big brain cavity!  But have no fear, when we saw the baby’s face from another angle, it looked a lot cuter!  Also, we could see Stormageddon opening and closing it’s mouth…probably in there complaining…not unlike it’s mother.  :D

*Classes are officially over for the semester!  I just have to finish up a case study (which is A LOT of work), finish a take-home stats test, take a stats final, and write two papers before I’m free for the summer.  Yes it’s a lot, but at the same time, I’m shocked that I’ve made it through this first year.  There were times, particularly in the beginning of this semester when I was exhausted and hormonal that I really didn’t know how I would make it.  But alas, it’s almost May, and another school year is done!

That’s about it for the update.  Hopefully now that school is winding down, I’ll have more time to update things.

Categories: Academia, Children, Daily Life, Education, Family, Married Life, Politics, Pregnancy | Leave a comment

Me, A-Z

Posted on March 18, 2012 by Una giovane signora

As Spring Break is winding down, I was looking for something somewhat frivolous to do tonight.  Aside from watching Frozen Planet, I came across this fun little thing.  I figured it was a random way for me to share a little bit more about my life.

A. Age: 27

B. Bed size: Queen

C. Chore that you hate: Folding laundry–our clean clothes will usually sit in the dryer until we forget about them, and we remind each other to put our laundry away

D. Dogs: Don’t own any yet

E. Essential start to your day: Running to the bathroom, making the bed, and snuggling with the kitties

F. Favorite color: Blue

G. Gold or Silver: Silver

H. Height: 5’1″ (when I round up!)

I. Instruments you play: I play a mean kazoo.  I own a violin, but wouldn’t say that I can actually play it.

J. Job title: Professional (Ph.D.) student in Education

K. Kids: None yet, but Stormageddon is baking away at the moment

L. Live: St. Louis

M. Mother’s name: Victoria

N. Nicknames: Lynz, Little Buddy, or my parent’s personal favorite, Lynnie

O. Overnight hospital stays: When I was 14 and had an ovarian cyst removed, and when I was 24 and had my gallbladder taken out

P. Pet peeve: Fakeness and lying; honesty means a lot to me

Q. Quote from a movie: “Let’s get the shit kicked out of us by love!” -Love Actually

R. Right or left handed: Right

S. Siblings: Khrysta (25) and Max (22–>23 this week)

T. Time you wake up: My alarm goes off at 7:15…when I actually get up can be another story.  Usually between 7:30 and 7:45 a.m.

U. Underwear: Whatever is comfy and on sale at Victoria’s Secret

V. Vegetable you hate: Cauliflower = yuck!!

W. What makes you run late: Getting distracted by the Internets so I lose track of time

X. X-Rays you’ve had: My left wrist when I broke it, and a chest X-ray when I got a really bad case of bronchitis

Y. Yummy food that you make: Any kind of Italian

Z. Zoo Animal: My favorites are giraffes, elephants, and penguins.

Categories: Daily Life | Leave a comment

The Day Our Life Changed

Posted on March 10, 2012 by Una giovane signora

Written on December 30, 2011

I’m going to be holding this one close to the chest for a while…once we decide to announce this to the world, I’ll make this post public.  For now, it’s just between DH and I.

Our lives changed forever today at 3:45 p.m. when I took a pregnancy test.

I’d been having some nagging inklings for the past week or so, even though it was super early.  Although I was having some typical PMS symptoms, they just weren’t the same.  My gut kept going, “maybe you’re pregnant.”  I’d shake it off, because in a lot of ways, it was unbelievable.  The fertility specialist said trying naturally would be “playing roulette.”  DH and I weren’t even really trying; we were just along the “if it happens, it happens” route.

Today was different though.  After chowing my second piece of fudge in about 30 seconds, something just seemed off.  I had been getting dizzy spells on and off all day, and feeling a little queasy.  I chalked it up to nerves, but tested anyways.

Faint, but there…positivo!

Right now I’m pretty nervous.  Having a baby in September, while not unwelcome, is a bit of a surprise.  Oddly, the only thing I’m really concerned about is how my department is going to react, and how things with school will be impacted.  I know DH and I have been ready to be parents for a while…I just don’t know how good I’ll be at parenting while being a student.  We were anticipating on it happening after I was done with classes.  Not that life would be a lot easier at that point–just–different.

But, we’ll see.  Life is always ready to throw you a curve ball when you least expect it.  But I’ve got to admit, this is a pretty darn exciting curve ball!

 

March 10, 2012

Obviously, things the past few months have been exciting around here.  Since this post was written, we’ve had a trip to the ER for side pain at 5 weeks, had an ultrasound at 7 weeks, and have heard our baby’s heartbeat at 12 weeks.  Now, in our 13th week, life is good.  :)   Can’t wait to see what the future brings!  Only 7 more weeks until we get another ultrasound and get to see the baby again!

Additionally, I have another blog that I’ve been keeping since last summer.  It goes into the fertility issues, as well has the early days of the pregnancy.  I plan on keeping that blog throughout the pregnancy, and once we have the baby.  It does have an adult “content warning” on it, (as the process of making babies and having babies isn’t always so child-friendly) so if you want the link to it, you’ll have to let me know.  :)

As far as school goes, I could not have asked for a better support system.  My advisor got pregnant during her last year of classes in her Ph.D., so she is really able to empathize with all of my concerns.  Hopefully, we’ve worked something out for next semester that honestly is the most ideal situation I could have ever hoped for.  We have been truly blessed on our journey thus far, and can’t wait to see what the rest of it brings!

Categories: Academia, Body Issues, Children, Daily Life, Education, Faith, Family, Married Life, Pregnancy | Tags: | 3 Comments

The Life/Work Balance

Posted on February 24, 2012 by Una giovane signora

In a much different way from last semester, this semester is rough.  I don’t know if it’s just one specific class that has me bogged down with just an insane amount of constant work, or if it’s the combination of these four classes that make me wish there was either more time in the day, or more days in the week.  Whatever it is, it has me questioning how the heck it’s almost March, and I still feel like I have no clue how to manage my time this semester.

I’ve had NO outside life this semester.  You can ask my husband what we’ve done almost every weekend since school started.  I’ve worked Friday-Sunday on school stuff, almost non-stop.  Even the weekend my SIL and BIL were in town for M’s birthday…I worked pretty much non-stop.  And it’s not like I procrastinate and put stuff off until the weekend; it’s just that I can’t stay on top of things.  There’s too much to do.

I don’t know how to balance it all yet.  It’s nearly midterms.  Never have I felt this way this late into the semester.  I wish I would have had the foresight to say that I was only going to take 3 classes.  Due to circumstances for next school year, I’m going to be pushed back a little anyway.  Too bad it’s too late in the semester to drop a class.  Even if I did have the option, I don’t know which one I’d drop.

I’m starting to feel really guilty; like I’m neglecting my personal life.  I’m so lucky that I have a husband that picks up the slack around the house.  Otherwise, we’d have dishes piled through the roof, or we’d be eating cereal every night (well, I would be eating cereal every night…I don’t know what he would eat).  When I come home, I’m just too tired/spent to do it or care about it.  He doesn’t complain about it, but I still feel like I haven’t been a supportive enough spouse.  Although I know that he’s not as “busy” as I am, there are so many times that I’m so focused on all of my school work that I fail to ask him how things are going in his life.

I just don’t feel like I have any outside life this semester.  I feel like I’m just a lousy little graduate student; nothing more.  My soul misses reading, and writing, and cooking…and even occasionally, the cleaning.  I miss LIVING.  There are so many good things going on in my life, and I’m just not excited about any of them.  Instead, I’m worried about how it will cut into the precious little free time I have to get all of my work done.  And that too makes me feel guilty.  I should be excited.  I should be happy.  Instead, I’m counting down the days until the semester is over, and maybe then I can breathe a sigh of relief.

Categories: Academia, Daily Life, Education, Married Life | Leave a comment

Soul Searching

Posted on January 24, 2012 by Una giovane signora

The past month or so has been a little rough…it’s gotten even more tricky since school has started up again.

I continue to question whether or not I can do this.  People tell you before joining a Ph.D. program that it’s hard.  If you’re like me, you’ll probably shrug it off, and think, “Well, maybe it is hard for them.  But I’ve done grad school, and how bad can classes and a little research be?”  And then you get there…and realize that you’re not playing with the little kids undergrads anymore.  You’re supposed to be big time; putting out publishable material; coming up with original concepts for your field…and it doesn’t matter that you’ve only been there 4 months.  You are no longer in the field, you ARE the field.  And sometimes that can be scary, intimidating stuff.

The hard part is, I actually like what I’m doing, for the most part.  I like researching new ideas and writing papers; I love the moment when it all starts to come together, and I can point to something I wrote and feel victorious that my ideas actually make sense.  And although I’m not a huge fan of the necessary statistics, it’s really exciting when it shows you that there is some mathematical link between your ideas.  Plus, I don’t think I’ve mentioned the conferences.  You get to travel to places (like Vancouver!!) to LEARN!  How cool is that?

It’s just…it’s a lot of pressure.  All the time.  I have a class that wants us to put out TWO items for publication in addition to everything else going on in my four classes this semester.  Four classes at the Ph.D. level in of itself is a ton of work.  I can’t even imagine what it’ll be like next year when I have TA-ing and other obligations to attend to.

Right now I’m just freaking out and nervous.  This happens at the beginning of every semester.  Part of me is super tempted to start looking for a job.  In some ways, I feel like working would just be a lot easier right now.  Although I would lose about 2 weeks of winter break, I would gain my weekends (for the most part) and ditch a lot of the extra work.

But right now, I’m in it for the long haul.  I made a commitment to invest in my future self.  As much as things can occasionally suck, I wanted this.  I wanted this even after being warned by several people how much it would suck.  In the end, I just pray that I’m good enough.

Categories: Academia, Education | Leave a comment